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  • noellerivers

New Beginnings

For months we have been waiting, yearning for the world to spring-back into shape. Between Teams meeting, as I make myself a drink, or water my much loved plants, I find my mind drifting to a time I took for granted. A time of entwined limbs and laughter, perfume and lipstick. Leather and stiletto shoes. I confess, I have allowed myself to grieve. Even now, on sweet-sharp mornings, I forget, for a glorious second, that everything has changed and there is a suspended moment of peace before it hits me, like reaching out for a lover and finding only empty space, that the old way of living has gone forever. We have all been learning new ways to exist and to connect over long distances but the loss of physical touch is what I've found the hardest during this time.

As a London companion I have so missed the faces of the gentlemen who lift me. I long for my favorites and for new connections. When I first entered the world of companionship, I could never have anticipated just how greatly it would change me, or guessed how vivid the pleasure caused by the sensual and spiritual collision of once-strangers could be. I miss our time together, snuggled-up in a messy bed, or pressed together against a wall, catching glances of ourselves in the mirror. I can almost taste you, I can hear the laughter. I have decided that carefully, slowly, I will begin, once more to offer stolen lunch breaks and long winding afternoons that fall gently into dusk. I will do so only in a way that feels safe for myself and others, preferring longer dates and spaced out with two weeks in-between each meet. Because time with you transformed each particle of me and now I am somewhat at a loss, left as I am with only daydreams of our unravelling. I want us to make new memories together and will begin accepting dates in August. I can't wait to start again, with you.

Noelle Xx

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